Dreams

I had another intense dream just before waking this morning that I want to document:

I was in a house with a bunch of other people. There were reports that a huge storm was brewing and we should stay inside to stay safe. I wandered outside a bit and it was eerily calm, like it was just before the Thanksgiving Day storm many years ago. Others were out there, not believing the forecast and I worried that they might get hurt - but I didn't say anything.

I went back inside and ended up stuck in the middle of a group of people I didn't know. They were greeting each other and happily conversing. I wanted to talk with them about the coming storm, but didn't want to interrupt them or disturb their conversations.

So I pushed my way out and wandered into another room. There was a news story about a group of black people who had the skin disease that turned their skin white. It was contagious and they had been trying to hide it, but been discovered.  They were lined up on choir steps and stood up one at a time till you could see their face. I knew some of the people. I remember being shocked not only that I knew them but that they were infected and had tried to hide it. That's all I remember of the dream anymore.

I think the skin issue was because I saw a gentleman with that condition yesterday. I'm not sure what the impending storm means. I was thinking it related to my sense of doom with my assessment that my 31 year marriage won't last much longer. But maybe it's my fear that my husband's prediction of chaos and world collapse coming in the next year might be true. I think the group of people I wanted to talk to but wouldn't bother was related to church and missing the deeper fellowship/support I once had. I've asked for help but everyone is busy and in crisis right now. Dunno... guess I'll continue to pray for insight and interpretation.

I forced myself to spend just a few minutes with Jesus this afternoon. There is an underlying tension in my life these days, no peace. I wanted to retreat to the image of the special place I have with Jesus in the lilac grove of my childhood, but I realized I was afraid to go there. I was afraid it would be cold and empty in the dead of winter, like I am dreading in real life right now. Just then I saw in my mind's eye that there is a small area in the midst of the winter scene that was warm, green and alive - because that's where Jesus was. It was like Aslan invading the Snow Queen's kingdom, winter death could not withstand the force of His Life.

I thought at first it was a bubble, something inside a safe protective layer. But He pointed out it was not, the green space with Him was open and connected to the space around it. And He promised this is how it is when I am with Him, it is green and alive and warm with Him. He promised that is how it will be during the coming winter and its storms. I can stay with Him and it will be warm and green and alive. Interesting, I just notice He didn't promise safety or freedom from pain... but that He would be there and it would be ok within His green, alive space.