The Dog Is Dead

We put the dog down last week. It was way overdue -the poor thing suffered for months. Hubby let it be my decision and I waited too long, trying to get buy off from Grace and Melody. In the end, we just had to do it. I was blessed that hubby rearranged his schedule to help when he saw my tears at the thought of taking the poor pup to the vet alone. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, which surprised me.

I was the least affectionate with the dog of anyone in the family. But I still miss her terribly. It's such an adjustment - a huge change in habit. We've had a pet for 25 years, all Grace's pets that we inherited. I always gave Grace what she wanted, then picked up the pieces. When it came to the pets, it was a pain sometimes, but the companionship was nice. Funny, that's what I did with her daughter too. But that's a different story.

So now I face a truly empty house. The dog was the last tie to my old life as mother and caretaker. I'm scared and tired and worried and unsure. I am so grateful that my husband and I have this new (yet familiar and hopeful) relationship to build on now. But I know it won't be easy. I have to change once again.

I don't have to pick up poop in the back yard (or the living room) any more, but there won't be anyone to greet me when I come home either. I'll have a solid green lawn without piddle holes now, but the house is too quiet. I can throw food away in the trash can and it won't get tossed all over the floor as soon as my back is turned, but I'll eat my meals alone.

See, relationships are messy and inconvenient, even with pets. They take time and work. They leave behind poop piles that need to be cleaned up. But they are worth it. Knowing that, I think some of the empty nest fears will be addressed as I continue to focus on building healthy relationships in my life. I am blessed with a wonderful family, loving friends and a great neighborhood. So, here's to yet another transition! I've seen enough now to know it will be hard, but I'll make it. And life will be better on the other side.