What If?

He asked that question again. What if? What if his belief about the tribulation starting precisely on Passover this year is correct? What if the tribulation is 3.5 years instead of 7? What if we have to endure the all the suffering instead of getting raptured? Would that mean that I have to give up my faith and finally adhere to his interpretation of God and scripture?

He can't understand my response. If he is right or wrong on any of those pieces does not impact my relationship with Jesus. I'm ok with not getting every part of the puzzle correct. He says he's not concerned about getting it all correct either - but he believes sooooo strongly that he is right, it's like he's waiting for God to force me into his beliefs. We see the world so differently, have such different priorities... maybe that's not good or bad, just different.

I had a super intense dream last night that highlighted this challenge. We went to see an island that was just off-shore, with Melody in the back seat. We had visited there before. There was a small group of people living there that had been cut off for some reason. Only a few remained, but they had to reach the mainline over a small bridge. There had been a big earthquake just before our visit. As we approached the island, it was clear to see it had been damaged. There were new cliffs been exposed and houses had fallen into the sea.

As we reached the bridge, I pointed out that the bridge was closed down, the entrance covered in large rocks and overgrown. Just as I said that, I saw that the road we were on was flooding. As we reached the bridge, the car lifted off the road and started to float.

Jim seemed unconcerned. As we rounded a bend it was clear we were floating in a river. I asked Jim if the car would float. He said the demo car would stay afloat for 30 or 40 minutes. The car turned backwards and the current picked up speed.  I yelled at Jim to do something, get us out of here. Then I realized we were heading for a waterfall. I asked Jim what to do. He said calmly if we got separated from the demo car, just find it (I assumed he meant after we landed at the bottom of the waterfall). By then the river was huge and rushing very fast. I realized that meant the waterfall was big and there was no way we would survive. In that last second I wanted to save Melody - and then I woke up.

I don't have a clear interpretation for most of this. But the rushing river I think is how I feel about world events. They are picking up speed and rushing out of control. To Jim, they are a source of excitement. I'm battling my fears, but even beyond the fear, end times are not a source of joy or excitement. So many of the people I love will suffer...

But what stands out most to me is how Jim was nonchalant about the whole thing. He was focused on the 'demo car'; how it would float, that we should stay close to it. I was focused on the river, trying to get out, get Melody to safety. I woke up amazed that he couldn't see the danger of the river, of the waterfall. Amazed that he focused on enjoying the ride instead of saving our granddaughter.

Maybe both focuses are ok. They don't feel like it to me, but I can't put words to why. What if he is correct? What if I am correct? Does it really matter? I think it does. The answer determines how we spend the remaining days here on earth. Show me your Truth, Lord Jesus! Direct my path - be it on foot, in a car or swimming...