Funny, the dream I described in the last post lead to our last big "discussion" - and now I don't dare bring up anything personal with him again. I can't bear to be hurt anymore. I just don't know what he will say or how he will interpret my words or thoughts. But he will see them as motivated by sin and darkness and selfishness.
Funny, staying silent and distant isn't making my life any better. I'm barely hanging onto my sanity. I wish we could afford to see my counselor. Maybe writing out my feelings here will help - can't hurt I guess. I just wish I had thicker skin and these things didn't bother me so much.
Funny, but not really. Ironic. Sad. Lonely. Those are better words. But this suffocating blackness is anything but funny.
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